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So as you know from part one of this two dat disaster, I had a rough one. With a poor showing in a max out squat and a WOD that involved nothing but one of my weakest skills (running), I wasn’t feeling too great about myself. Yes, despite a good mile time (for me), I still wasn’t feeling the satisfaction I usually do after a work out. The trouble with squats smacked my ego, and a WOD in which I didn’t excel didn’t help. So, I walked into the gym the next morning knowing, today would be better. Today I would be better. Then I saw it…there on the white board. Staring at me. Laughing. Practically giving me the finger.

KALSU

You must be joking. Kalsu, if you don’t already know, is 100 thrusters (at 95/65#) for time. The catch? Every minute, in the minute, you must do 5 burpees.

It’s probably the single toughest MENTAL workout I’ve ever done. It was awful. Mostly because my attitude was complete crap. When I started to get fatigued a few minutes in, and the burpees seemed to take ages, I gave up. I would look at the clock and see I only had 20 seconds until the next round of burpees, and instead of getting a couple of thrusters in to chip away, I would just wait for the minute to run out and do yet another five burpees. I wanted to quit. More than anything I wanted to quit. I was completely miserable. I hated everyone. I hated my coach for choosing this WOD. Why would he pick this one? Why today? He knows I had a bad day yesterday! He did this on purpose! I hated it as my fellow Kalsu-ers would finish, they would come over to cheer me on. This is so embarrassing. Why can’t they just leave? I never finish last. Why do they have to remind me that they’re done and I’m taking forever?! I wanted to scream every time my coach tried to help me. The whole 35 minutes of it was awful.

When I finally finished. I went into the bathroom and sat on the floor, by myself, for what seemed like twenty minutes. Then I finally came out, said goodbye to everyone, and went about my day. It wasn’t until that night, hours later, after I had time to let the dust settle that I was able to think clearly about the mornings events.

Sure, the workout was hard. I managed to make it 100x harder just by letting my head go to a totally negative space. Before the clock even started, I was already thinking This is gonna suck. I don’t want to do this. Once it started to get hard, I went even further into that negative spiral. This sucks. I want to stop. This workout is so stupid. There’s not even a point.

My attitude could not have been worse. All I could focus on was what was wrong. I should’ve tried to make it fun for myself. I should’ve taking my coaches words and my teammates cheers as fuel to keep going, instead of treating them like rocks in my shoes.

Luckily, I can learn from this. I’ve chosen to do workouts that are hard. That can seem like the worst thing in the world. I have chosen this, instead of thirty minutes on an elliptical machine or an hour in a Zumba class. I will face another WOD where I want to quit, where that anger and frustration starts to bubble up once again. We spend a lot of time making our bodies stronger, when our minds need it just as much.

I hope that next time I will recognize what is happening, and be able to turn it around. It might take a few tries. I’m not always going to finish first. I’m not always going to be in the top. Every WOD will not play to my strengths. I need to do the stuff I hate, the stuff that I suck at, in order to get better. I will try to make sure I remember that it’s mind over matter, and if I wanted to do it the easy way…if I enjoyed the easy way…my hands wouldn’t be covered in chalk and calluses, and I’d be having a lot less fun.